Guitar Stunts
by komodo-Dags
Summary: Needing to pay off some money-fast-Rigby convinces Mordecai to wake up his guitar skills. First Regular Show one-shot! PLEASE READ AND REVIEW!


Mordecai and Rigby were convinced that there day had gone as well as it ever could.

Still chuckling about it, they turned to their room for the night.

"Aw, dude," Rigby waved his arms ecstatically, "Remember the _donuts_?"

Mordecai shook his head, smiling, "Of _course_ I do, man! That was the best part!" He tapped his chin, thoughtfully, "Although I still think that those might have been Benson's for that girlfriend he was talking about . . ."

"No way! Why would he leave the box wide open like that? It was like he was inviting us to eat 'em!"

The duo continued to talk about the donuts, arcade, coffee shop, cart race, and whatever else they had found to do.

"But seriously, dude," The blue jay grew a more serious face, "How on earth are we going to pay for the cart we broke? Aren't we a little short?"

The small raccoon smirked and walked towards the large, oak dresser that sat in the corner of the room, "C'mon! It's not like we're broke or something! We'll just get the rest of our money from the work we did this week and pay it off! No big deal." He struggled to the top drawer and yanked it out, his greedy eyes darting around its contents.

Mordecai, the taller of the two, easily reached in and lifted a sock out, which usually kept their earnings inside, and opened it.

He gasped, "Oh no, dude!"

"What?! And don't use that tone! It doesn't mean anything good!" Rigby leaned way over to get a good look at whatever his friend was seeing. He groaned softy.

The sock was completely empty.

"Dude, how did this even happen?" Mordecai tilted his head back, frustrated, and fixed his eyes on the ceiling.

"I don't even know! Didn't we do a lot of work this week?"

The jay moaned, "No, dude, remember? We kept making excuses to get out of work, and when we had to, we'd do a crappy job on it?"

"AHG! Why do we suck so badly?" Rigby whined.

"I don't know, dude."

The room went silent as they pondered their situation, but Mordecai and Rigby had never been the thinkers. Their ideas, unbeknownst to them, were always farfetched or not quite thought through. Always putting them into deeper trouble or just barely putting them through danger.

"Oh! I know!" Rigby composed himself, "We just tell Benson to give us a raise or HE'S fired! BAM! Pretty slick, huh?"

"Yeah, except your forgetting about the part where he fires US, dude." Mordecai hissed.

"Oh, yeah."

More thinking.

"Wait," Mordecai walked over to the only window in the room, pulled away the curtains, and peered out, "How about we look around for inspiration? I mean, we see people making money on the streets all the time, right?"

"Dude, you're so right!" The raccoon scampered up beside him to observe the park and its inhabitance.

It was a regular Saturday, which was usually busier, but it was nearing night and most people had decided to go home. Yet a few still enjoyed a stroll in the night air. Not that it was really that dark, anyway, since the park did have installed lights that were way too bright.

"Oh, oh, OH!" Rigby pressed a finger against the glass, "Look at THAT guy! Man, he's got it MADE!"

Mordecai squinted and spotted what his friend was jabbering about.

An old man with a scraggly, graying, beard was making himself comfortable on one of the park's benches. A tan guitar that was covered in scrapes sat in his lap as his fingers flew along its strings. Even though he couldn't hear him, Mordecai was already impressed. This guy seemed to know what he was doing.

"Aw, Rigby, look at that!" He pointed to a dusty hat sitting in front of the guy, full of coins, and several slips of green. A passing couple stopped to listen for a minute before adding to the stash.

Rigby's knobby elbow made an unexpected blow to his side, "Dude, this is a cinch! You know how to play the guitar, right?"

"Ow! And no. Are you crazy? I've never even picked one up!"He rubbed the sore spot, "That seriously did hurt."

"Aw, what? But c'mon! This could totally be our chance! We could be rich!"

Mordecai chuckled, "Yeah, just like that guy. Boy, he sure looks like he's rolling in the dough."

"STOP TALKING!"

"Dude, I'm just being real. You should be happy that you got a friend like me to get some sense into you." He turned away from the window and lay down on his bed, crossing his arms behind his head.

"So, that's it. You're just giving up? Just like that?"

"It's not giving up, it's deciding against it in a polite and subtle way."

"Quitter."

Mordecai glared at him, "Listen, we don't even HAVE a guitar, let alone any instrument!"

"What are we gonna tell Benson, then?"

"The truth, I guess."

"Booo! The truth is lame!"

. . .

Rigby narrowed his eyes, "Don't ignore me, Mordecai! I know you're still awake!"

. . .

"Ok, fine! Be that way!" The coon darted out of the room and a small smile crept up Mordecai's beak.

Against a storming sky, a scaly beast howled to the heavens, a beautiful, young, robin clutched in its talons. It rose higher and higher, showing the remaining world its full height. Thousands of despairing screams echoed around it.

The horror of the moment ceased abruptly as a new character entered the scene. His shining armor standing out to the monster and it bent its long neck down to see the knight.

He was definitely the most handsome person ever. Or Blue Jay.

Sir Mordecai was ready to defeat the beast. Thousands of encouraging cries soon went up, everyone having absolutely no doubt in this new hero.

Raising his sword, he charged forward, to meet his destiny.

The beast snarled hideously and swung its scissor-like claws, trying to make fries out of him. However, it had no idea what it was dealing with.

Sir Mordecai dodged the blow and began to climb up its side, using each scale as a ladder. He used yet another attempt to kill him as means of propelling himself up to its head, where he took no time to stab his sword into a break between its horns where its insides were exposed.

It shuddered, and stumbled, trying to remain conscious, but finally fell, shaking the earth.

Unscathed, the pretty cardinal pulled away from its now limp grasp and rushed to her savior.

"Oh, thank you, brave knight! How could I ever repay you?"

He smiled tenderly, "My heart lies with my duty, fair maid."

"Then at least let me do this one thing." Her eyes filled with love for him as she quickly stepped in front of him.

"I shall not decline." He prepared himself mentally for the thing that he was so excited for. It was going to happen, right now. He leaned forward as she did, and . . .

She punched him in the stomach.

"Ow! What the hecketh?"

Another painful blow left him staggering, and . . .

His eyes snapped open. It was dark and he felt really groggy, "Oof!" He scrambled into a sitting position and stared around the room, ready to beat the crap out of whoever disturbed his sleep (AKA, his dream).

It was Rigby, carrying what looked like a guitar.

Mordecai rubbed his eyes, his blood boiling, "You hit me with that thing?!"

"Yeah, man, I found it in Benson's closet. Pretty sweet, huh?" He set it down to rub its handsome figure. There was no doubt that it was of high class.

"NO! That is NOT sweet! I was having a really good sleep! With the dragon, and the . . . the . . ." He leaned back against the wall, suddenly becoming aware of the effects of waking up abruptly in the middle of the night, "You're not going to leave me alone 'till I try, right?"

"Uh-huh."

"Ehhh, ok, fine. I'll try." He reached for ward, snatched the instrument out of Rigby's hands, and gently stroked the strings. A noise came out, but wasn't awful like he had expected. In fact, it sounded kind of good. He tried again, this time moving his fingers to another position. Yet another harmonic chord drifted through the room.

Rigby stared in wonder, "Whoa! Where did you learn to play like that?"

"Huh, I just remembered. I used to take band class, and I always played this thing. It's just coming back to me now!" He slowly, cautiously, started to play a song. It was choppy, and a little unrefined, but besides that, it sounded good.

"Aw, that's so awesome!" Rigby's tail twitched to the melody, "Dude, what do you say about playing for some money tonight? You've definitely got the skills! And it would be so worth it to not get yelled at!"

"I don't know . . ."

"C'mon! Just try it!"

Mordecai stood up, "Ok. We'll try it. But if something goes wrong, I'm blaming you." He crept out and down the stairs.

"Whatever, man. Nothings gonna go wrong, and you know it!"

"Shhh, you don't want to wake anyone up!"

He opened the door and stepped outside. It was a warm, summer, night and by now, almost everyone had left. He saw that the man was still going on his guitar, his hat now filled to the brim.

Mordecai sighed, "Dude, there's no one out here. How are we going to earn anything if there's no one to give it?"

"Don't worry. Once they hear how awesome you are, they'll come flooding in!" Rigby shot across the lawn to a vacant bench, "This looks like a good spot!" He shouted.

Once settled, Mordecai began to play hesitantly, his eyes searching the park for anyone nearby. He felt confident, in a weird way, even though a bunch of butterflies were doing dare-devil stunts in his stomach.

He tried smiling pleasantly when an old man passed by, but the man just gave him a disgusted look and continued his walk.

"What happened there? I was trying to look charming and everything!"

"You looked like you were sitting on something uncomfortable."

"Oh . . ." He shifted his gaze back to the street bum. Only this time, the guy's eyes were looking right into his. Narrowed, like a challenge, "Dude, I think that we should get out of here."

"Wha- Why?"

"I don't know. I just think that that dude over there wants to play by himself, that's all." He stared hopefully at his friend.

Rigby only tisked, "Mordecai, are you really gonna let yourself be chased off by that piece of dirt?"

"No! It's just . . . well, never mind! I'm staying!" He glared over at the man, who shook his head slowly.

The night was an entirely successful one. In fact, more people seemed to stop and cheer for Mordecai than the bum, who continued to glower, shake his fist, and give the occasional warning. However, the two were way too caught up in their own success to notice or care, really.

It was just them, and their own new, fashionable, hat, which was becoming full.

"Hey, um, that guy just got up." Rigby pointed and Mordecai looked over, smirking.

"What's he gonna do, huh?" He continued to play until the dingy man had come right up to them, breathing hard, "Oh, I'm sorry, I didn't see you there." He tried to look innocent, "Can we help you?"

"Yer darn right you can!" He slurred, "Get the heck out of here, you couple of mangy dogs!" He pointed his guitar at them with strange ease.

Rigby shot in, "What's gonna make us? Your filth? C'mon, Mordecai, keep playin'!"

Mordecai sighed, "Aw, Rigby, that wasn't very ni- AGHHH!" he grabbed Rigby and sprang out of the way as a fireball shot out of the end of the man's guitar and hit their bench.

"What the heck, man?" He yelled, but was only answered with another shot, "Rigby, we gotta get out of here!"

"I know! You're crushing me! Let gooo!" The coon wriggled out of his grasp and skidded behind a tree.

Mordecai tried to follow, but his guitar seemed to have other plans. It rose up into the air, carrying the terrified bird with it.

"I can't let go!" He shrieked, struggling against the forces that seemed to have glued each of his feathers to it, "I don't know what to do!"

"No one gets in my way. No one makes fun of my life!" The crazed bum began to shoot long arches of electricity out towards Mordecai, who seemed to have abandoned all hope.

However, seeing his death coming for him created the only thing that could ever save him: The ability to try anything.

_Block me! Block me! Block me!_ He silently pleaded to his 'weapon'. He shielded his eyes when the bolts slammed into his guitar, but didn't kill him. It only burst around him, as if he was in an orb shield of a sort.

Now he knew what to do.

_Counter attack! Slime him! _ He winced as the backfire nearly made a connection with his head.

The bum, clearly not expecting this, was knocked off of his feet. But quickly regained himself and fired what looked like bear traps at him.

_Throw stones at them! _His panic died yet again as all the traps snapped shut on each pebble and fell harmlessly to the ground.

"You think you can stop me? Ha! You're sadly mistaken!" The bum's guitar started to glow green, "By the way, I hear that if prepared right, Blue Jays are pretty good."

"You're sick, man!" His own began to glow red.

"DIE!" The green guitar's end busted open, letting loose a stream of glowing light that seemed to scream.

"IN YOUR DREAMS!" Mordecai's retaliated, shooting a stream of equal proportions.

They met in the middle, exploding in a light so bright, that every eye instantly shut.

Only, Mordecai's opened again. He was on the ground, with a smoldering guitar at hand.

"DUDE! WHOA! DUDE!" Rigby was suddenly in his face, his whole body trembling with excitement, "YOU KILLED HIM! HE'S GONE!"

"But what happened?" He pulled himself off of the ground.

"I have NO idea! But it was the most awesome thing I've ever seen!"

Mordecai noticed a smoldering pile of ashes and smiled inwardly, proud of himself.

But then he slumped, "Dude, we're so fired."

"Yeah, we kinda are."


End file.
